All Reviews by Coolbreeze
Double GulpStudio: American Hardcore“More Humidity than Indonesia”…If you like down and dirty porn including sloppy, filthy wet horn-jobs then rent away. The throat gagging, deep-throating, cock spitting and “waterfall saliva drooling” seemed like it went on for days. JAMIE – This girl is good looking with a spectacular ass and is “tat free”. Her looks are definitely above average for the porn world. The MMF sex is very nasty girl style with continual blasé porn talk by the fellas (fortunately Jamie mostly closes her pie-hole except when blowing horn). The cowgirl and doggie-style sequence camera work is good at highlighting this hottie’s ASSets. One actor gets caught up in the moment and begins shagging Jamie’s high heel shoe (while it is still on her) while she rides the other actor’s tool. Hur??? Both actors pop in the mouth to close the scene. This was the only scene I rented this movie for. Check Jamie out in the “Screw My Wife Please” series (can’t recall the number) where she gets a nice pounding from Chris Charming. Hopefully this girl will do more group sex and go interracial eventually. “Good times” will be had by all. Young Asian Cuties #1Studio: Kick Ass"One and a Half out of Five…"That is how many scenes are worthwhile in this movie. LOTUS – The scene opens with a fake dry cleaner business scenario. Well, at least they tried. Her nice little body looks good while she blows horn. Some good camera angles are utilized. GIANNA – She has a thick frame, a mediocre face (at best), nipple piercings, tats galore, a belly ring and a tongue ring. Ironically, I don’t think her ears are pierced. In a nutshell, this girl has more metal in her body than an auto salvage yard. I’m out. MYA – Thick, too much ink with an okay face. Next! TAYA – Her face is decent and she has a well-shaped, thin body. The scene opens in a supposed Asian massage parlor. At the end of the massage the actor asks for a “happy ending”. Taya rings a bell and a large man enters. This was actually pretty humorous as the actor explains that he wants the girl back. Eventually Taya reappears and it is – game on. She looks good blowing the very large mushroom head of the actor. The director wastes too much time on the underneath doggie cam angles. Her tiny ass looks nice riding the big tool. She is a good sport taking the deep penetration in the missionary position with Mushroom Man. The actor sounds like a dying Norwegian Elkhound when he blows his load on her face. KINA – She has an adorable face and a nicely shaped petite body. Unfortunately, this is the first time I’ve seen her take an average sized tool…and I’m not a fan. Normally she takes the donkey tools and likes it. Her ass/body looks good in the cowgirl and doggie shots. The director should’ve held the medium shots of that body getting done doggie for a minute or more. The high-angle doggie view is nice but the lighting doesn’t shine for her like it has in other movies. If you don’t care much about faces this movie might work out okay for you. Pure FilthStudio: Badass Pictures“Pure Fraud”…“Good Luck” finding the Asian honey shown on the box cover in this movie. She isn’t displayed in the scene icons on the menu and I fast forwarded through the entire movie and saw zero actresses that resembled her. I only rented this movie because she was an unfamiliar Asian actress to my eye. This reminds me of the 80s’ and 90s’ when it was fairly common for a production company to include a photo of an actress on the box cover that wasn’t to be found in the movie. Or, they would have the box cover honey act as a narrator only. Weak! Another 80s’ and 90s’ feature of this movie is the lighting and settings. I can’t exactly explain it but the feel is very “dated” even though the box cover appears to be more current porn. The only scene decent enough for me to take my finger off the fast forward button was the MMMF scene with a natural looking girl with a pretty decent ass. The sex is fairly hot even though only one actor possesses enough “timber” to show her a good time. In a nutshell, this movie is weaker than a Bigelow tea sack. Next! Asian New Cummers #3Studio: Heatwave“You May be Able to Take Care of Business”…This should get the job done for many but the girls and the product are largely forgettable at the end of the day. NORA LIN – a tad thick of a frame but well proportioned; fairly nice ass looks good bent over; flattering doggie-style shots; her noise making is surprisingly good. TYLENE TAN – skinny body; nice high-angle doggie-style shots and the actor unloads a gallon on her ass; decent scene. The rest of the ladies were not my type or were trolls. Next! Asian Lollipops #4Studio: Heatwave“One Honey and Four Nierney Birneys”…MIA FUJI doesn’t have the hottest face but she has nice petite body with a small ass that is very pleasing to the eye. Had this scene had more or longer high-angle shots and subjective views it would’ve been “golden”. The actor she was paired with wasn’t great which didn’t help. The sex is okay but nothing to write home about. I couldn’t “Hammer Hank” to this scene and the rest of the movie “blew doors”. The other girls range from mediocre to troll. AYAKO, CANDILICIOUS, EXOTIC AMY were all of “no interest” to me…or my pole. NEXT! Asian Street Hookers #44Studio: T.T.B. Productions“Girls with Serious Sailor Mouth”…However, the movie prevails even though some girls curse every other word. KINA – This is one hot petite Filipino girl with an angelic face. There is really sound camera work for the most part. She looks gorgeous blowing the large tool (nice extreme close-up) of the much older actor. The medium shot of her blowing horn while bent over on the couch was mesmerizing. She gets a serious dry shagging in the doggie position but the actor never seems to get more than two-thirds of his tool buried inside. If this scene contained a high angle doggie shot it would’ve earned a 9.5 rating from me. ANASTACIA – She is a decent looking slightly thick Filipino girl. Her foxhole is “loose as a goose” which turns me off so I move on. LANA LAINE – This Filipino girl is pretty average looking with a thin body and really nice skin. Again, the director utilizes some nice high angle oral camera work. Another bonus is that she keeps her skirt and fishnets on while she gets done doggie. But the best segment has her in the missionary position leaning towards the actor. Her body looks terrific holding this position while getting worked over. Unfortunately, an annoying phone keeps ringing in the background. I think it is time to hire a new stage manager. Most of the girls get pop shots to end the scenes. NYOMI ZEN – This girl is cute with a really nice body. Unfortunately, she acts and talks like a $2.00 road whore. What a turn off. If I wanted this kind of girl I’d head to a white trash bar at 2am. What happened to “the girl next door”? I’m so tired of “the trailer park girl next door”. Her wet blow job was kind of nast. THAI MICHELLE – Her face is pretty nice but the body is too thick. The medium shots do flatter her butt when bent over but that is the best thing I can say about this scene. When she rides the actor’s wand her butt spreads out and loses its luster. My rating is based on my enjoyment of the KINA and LANA scenes. Gluteus To The MaximusStudio: Seymore Butts“Only if Quick Transitions and Underneath Angles Are Your ThTwo of my biggest pet peeves in porn are transitioning from a hot segment too quickly and the dreaded underneath foxhole t-sac camera angle. I don’t care that it is an orgy or group scene. You have to stay locked on target for 45 to 60 seconds or more so I can paint the wall by number with my “magical paint pen”. Don’t make me wear out my remote. And a third thing I despise is the female who uses her own hand to spread her own cheeks (it’s the males job baby) during doggie-style. Thus you can’t obtain an unobstructed view of her hot ass. Don’t you hate that S??? Anyway, there is only one scene here worth watching and it involves ALEX DANE (looking pretty nice here with real tits still) getting done doggie and corned by “Ron Jon” (my personal nickname since I’ve met the man), a.k.a. RON JEREMY and TOM BYRON. Unfortunately, the 15-20 seconds at a time didn’t cut the mustard. The rest of the tail included: ALYSSA LOVE, HOLLI WOODS, JORDAN MCKNIGHT, KATIE GOLD, MELANIE, SHANA MCCULLOUGH, SHAY SWEET and TAYLOR HAYES. All were completely forgettable in my book. As a result, I’m wiping tail on this wet turd. NEXT! Young & Tasty #1Studio: Legal Pink“My Pole Had No Interest”…The girls aren’t bad, the sex isn’t bad, the camera work isn’t too bad. In a nutshell, its all simply -- “not bad”. As a result, you will find nothing remarkable here. PASJA – black hair; fairly attractive; fair skin; long body; takes average-sized pole; lame underneath doggie-style shots; medium shot doggie presents her ass pretty well; brief titty shag. ROXY – medium frame; red hair = no interest; body okay but not my type; face odd looking. SUE – a mediocre blonde. KATARINA TOMBOY – girl from cover; as usual, not as cute as box cover; pigtails help a little; fat and meaty pussy turns me off; girl is thick in the butt; low back tat and one above foxhole; takes above average pole; sprays in mouth and she didn’t love it. JASMINE ROUGE – blonde w/decent ass; looks good in MMF horn-blow doggie-style piece; sunlight floods through in background and never occurred to director to make an adjustment…brilliant. NEXT! Well Hung Amateurs #1Studio: Homegrown SELECT"I could've shot somebody's eye out"...I thought I was 18 again based on the "launch" this movie created for me. This movie is worth it for Cindy alone. This girl is young and clearly inexperienced which sells home the amateur factor. Watching her smoke pole and take Buck's meaty tool makes for a visual paradise for the viewers. CINDY (solo) -- The lighting is really good and the wardrobe perfectly emphasizes the "youth factor". I especially liked watching her get worked over while wearing her tennis shoes. She giggles and is playful (not staged) and is clearly "affected" by the sex. Her ass is gorgeous in the doggie-style position. Buck closes the scene by spraying on her face. CINDY & LEXI -- Lexi is another cutie with blondish hair. Like Cindy she is tat and piercing free -- thank you porn gods! Cindy licks Lexi's clit while Buck pounds away on Lexi. Cindy licks the sea sauce off Lexi's face at the end of the scene. Buck's dialogue in his movies is "mildly" annoying but completely forgivable as he does things to these girls that we would do if we were in his shoes. Surprisingly, you rarely see this in gonzo porn. I love this series and only watched these scenes due to the other girls not being my types. I can't recommend this series strongly enough. Oriental Orgy World #4Studio: Evasive Angles“Plenty of Hog, not enough Dog”…This movie has plenty of thick Asian asses (if that is your “cup of tea”) but there wasn’t enough emphasis on doggie-style on those thick booties. Here is a brief summary of some of the girls: AVA DEVINE – this girl has a hideous complexion, a $5.00 hooter job and a thick body. But if you’re into nasty, this is your girl. NATALIA – who lost a bet that allowed this girl in the adult cinema? She has a man’s haircut and a blasé shapeless body to boot. She sounds like a dying cow when getting pounded. JADE – this girl would be attractive if you could do a withdrawal on the ink and piercings. KEMORA – this girl looks young, and is tall and pretty. Unfortunately, we don’t see her get done doggie. But Mr. Marcus does give her a nice “corning-ware” session. LUCY – she has a pretty cute face and a really nice body. The show begins with the interviews and transitions to horn-jobs. At one point the boys do the rounds through the girls to get their horns polished. Other highlights include: Lucy getting done doggie by Mr. Marcus; Kemora getting corned by Mr. Marcus; a girl “gushing”; Mr. Marcus corning a thin girl in the doggie position; facial finishes. Overall, this is just mediocre adult interracial orgy action. The lighting is good but the camera angles could have been better. And the girls just weren’t hot enough. Other movies in this series are better as they mix in some petite Asians.