All Reviews by Coolbreeze
Me Luv U Long Time #7Studio: Red Light District“Even with Yellow Fever, you may not approve of this Beaver”This movie is chock full of mediocre looking talent from the Philippines. KEIKO – I couldn’t get beyond the face to get much enjoyment out of this scene. She does get a “royal corning” from a hefty piece of timber. ARCADIA & SHAI – This scene had some decent heat but again these girls are mediocre looking. Ass pimples on Arcadia and Shai’s odd skin surrounding her butt were only a couple of things that turned me off. HEIDI HO – This was the only scene worth watching. Heidi looks good with make-up (and needs it) and her thin body is spot on. The sex is formulaic but Heidi takes it well and is clearly affected. The facial spray-down was pretty nice. Unless any girl will do I recommend moving on to another Asian title. Again, I wish production companies could recruit more Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese and Korean girls. American porn is saturated with mediocre looking Filipino and Thai girls. The best looking ones seem to stay in their countries (excluding the “Asian Fever” series by Hustler. Next! Over 18 #3Studio: Heatwave"Nawe Kid"...This isn’t the worst porn you’ll ever see but it surely isn’t anywhere close to the best porn you’ll ever see. KIMMIE is featured in the best scene in which RON JEREMY goes deep on this skinny minnie. There is some nice doggie-style with horn-blowing action. It is a MMF scene in which she brilliantly portrays a ditzy exchange student. Okay, the acting isn’t grand, but her voice, looks, personality, behavior all scream “bright as a mailbox”. And so the guys take advantage and finish on her face. The worst thing was that it was an outdoors scene which makes the visual aspects at times subpar. KIKI DOLL was in a MMF with a wannabe weightlifter/rocker dude and a black dude. It was okay but not beautifully shot. The other tail (BROOKE, PAPILLON, PEARL) was either mediocre or the sex just didn’t rock the boat. NEXT! Asian Lollipops #5Studio: Heatwave“So Bad I Couldn’t Whack Tool……if my Life Depended on it”. This movie was chock full of unattractive ladies, carpy camera angles and average or below average timber taking them on. I’ve seen a couple of these girls look better in other movies…or at least I think it was them. Was it the lack of make-up? Is this movie from too early in their career before they got “porn pretty”? CHI SUN – not attractive; thick and saggy; face is “no bueno”. TIFFANY WONG – stretch marks; skin quality bad; more enthusiastic here versus other movie I saw her in; tight foxhole. NIKA – nice brief dragon position (doggie, flat on stomach) shot but her arm is in the way and her ass is flat. LONI – terrible looking; saggy tits. There definitely weren’t any superdupermodels here…in fact I don’t think there was a six or a seven anywhere to be found. Bootylicious: White TrashStudio: JM Productions"Skunky Cold Medina"...I'm a definite fan of ALEX DANE but this was not her best work. The film has a pretty nice set-up to her scene (of course we must ignore the acting) which involves lengthy conversation and guys playing dice when she asks them for directions. I say the set-up is nice because they actually spent some time on it and attempted to build characters. Unfortunately, this was about as good as it got. Alex has put on weight (possibly too much Taco Smell) and her face appeared pudgy. While her body was thin and soft it is now thicker and softer. Other negatives include the bright sun out near the pool which didn't flatter her skin tone and blemishes. Also, a lens cleaning "pre-shoot" might have been nice. That lens was about as clean as my windshield after a 5 hour drive on the 5 freeway. There are decent close-ups of her smoking huge horse tool and the donkey tool is buried in her corn as well. But the other actor has a difficult time holding an erection for the entire film. ABBY LANE - forget about it. This girl is mediocre at best. I skipped her. Vanessa Chase - She is kind of cute but there was no heat and nothing special about the scene at all. FELIONA - This girl is straight out "trailer", and not appealing "trailer". She has a huge tat on her boob, another small tat on her low back and another large tat buried in her fur patch. I couldn't get past the ink and "mullet-tude". I'm not sure which was more dated...the faded tats or the hairstyle. Of course she is the one that gets double-stuffed...as luck would have it. Simply put, this film is worth two squirts of female antelope urine. A Cum Shooting Stud Named RoccoStudio: Anabolic“Camera Angles and Stretched Foxholes”…These were the only real “ASSets” of this movie. The OPHELIA shag in the can (place not body orifice) was okay but visually appealing sexual positions were limited. SHAWNEE CATES – Asian with a “no bueno” face; hot body; petite; cornhole doggie-style sex was the best and the horn-blowing. This was the best scene but could’ve been even hotter with some dragon-style or better high-angle shots. The rest of the females were trolls or uninteresting. ROCCO can do so much better. NEXT!!! Interlude Of LustStudio: Caballero"Premise Better than the Execution and Talent"...It seems the 70s’ and 80s’ were a period in porn filmmaking that was more experimental in this genre of risque domination porn. This film has an ex-wife (KAREN HALL?) who visits a sex ranch in NV and pays to have her sexual fantasies explored. Her first fantasy consists of three masked intruders who break into her place and take advantage of her. It was semi-hot but two actors were barely involved with one actor penetrating her vaginally. Karen is featured throughout and she is VERY average looking. Had MAI LIN (also in movie) been in the role of the ex-wife this would’ve been much hotter. In another scene Karen is kidnapped and held for ransom. Separately two of her kidnappers screw her in the boring-as-fluck MISSIONARY position. This film seems to object to doggie-style action or dragon position. Most of the actors aren’t hung at all and many are “two-pump-chumps” which also sabotages the effort. In the end, I enjoyed the attempt to bring sexual heat and domination to the screen but the execution could’ve been much better and much hotter.
Up Your Ass #23Studio: Anabolic“Thank You For Shutting Your Piehole”…Finally I found another actress that doesn’t ruin a scene with the standard blasé porn dirty talk. Nothing kills the heat of a scene quicker than the forced repetitious dirty girl talk. Thank you CHANEL CHAVEZ! If you enjoy fair skinned Latines, this girl should work for you. Her face isn’t my preferred look but her body and performance definitely make up for it. Mr. Marcus pounds away on her doggie while she tries to multi-task by horning Brian Pumper. She gyrates on the tool of Mr. Marcus with precision rhythm. I don’t think anyone does it better than the Latines. The camera angles are very well chosen to highlight this girl’s ASSets. My favorite sequences were the frontal perspective high angle shot with Brian doing her doggie while she horned Mr. Marcus and where they double-stuffed her in the cowgirl position. This girl may not have been overwhelmed throughout but clearly is affected by the sex. CHIQUITA – Her body has looked tighter and her skin is simply unacceptable. Next! SANDRA – She is fairly attractive but too tan/orange (fake bake?) for my tastes. VANESSA – She is a good looking girl but the sex didn’t seem to fire me up. My rating is essentially based on the one scene and the fact that there were a couple of other girls who weren’t trolls. Sex Tour USAStudio: Anabolic"Don't Be Fooled by this Box of Chocolates"...Because I will tell you “what you get inside”. The only chocolate here is turd flavored. One girl is decent and the others are -- “nierney birney”. There is a skinny white girl who “may” be HAILEY YOUNG but I’m not going to waste time researching it. She’s fair skinned and has a decent little butt. Two actors with decent timber tap that ass for some decent double horn-blowing action, doggie-style etc. MADISON DI CARLO or PERSIA has “potential” given the box cover and some pre-sex footage. But when the clothes come off you realize the butt is only decent and the facial complexion is poor. Also, her face is mediocre to begin with so bad skin kills it entirely for me. This was “weak sauce” to the 10th power. NEXT!
SeductionStudio: Elegant Angel“Some Appealing Tail but Nothing Special”…The actresses are listed as: JENNIFER DARK, JESSICA MAY, VANESSA, VALENTINA VALLI AND SILVIA LANCOME. None were identified really so I have little idea as to identify in my review. Regardless, the cover girl on the box cover was probably the prettiest and most appealing. She had a thinner frame than the rest and no ink. The sex in here scene was pretty decent but nothing great via camera angles or uniqueness. There were some average poles and some above average poles. I’ve seen Vanessa in other movies but her face isn’t the best. The group sex scene was the second best scene but even that bored me. This was just average Euro-porn which I’ve grown tired of unless it is done by Odyssey which was very popular in the late ‘90s and beyond. Cumback Pussy #44Studio: Elegant Angel“Some Nice Talent but Poorly Utilized”…JASSIE is a really cute girl with freckles, a thin body and a beautiful ass. That ass receives no doggie-style pounding which I deem a sacrilege. Her MFF scene includes another pretty cute co-star with a nice ass. This girl receives most of the tool which I guess isn’t a surprise since Jassie does a lot of lezbo movies. This scene is fairly nice regardless. The only other decent scene features BRANDI LYONS. She is fairly attractive with an above average body. Her MMF scene includes a nice doggie-style pounding and some double penetration. Unfortunately, I got a little turned off by the gaping corn-hole. The rest of the talent is subpar. There are much better in this series. Next!