All Reviews by Coolbreeze
Trained Teens #3Studio: Jules Jordan Video“A Mixed Sac and No Emptying Occurred”…I gave it the college try but there was no “peeling the onion” to this movie. MAGGIE STAR – face is passable at best; ass is subpar; boring cliché dirty talk; no thanks. CRIS TALIANA – pig tails looked pretty good; meaty ass; she acts as if she was a dog being walked on a chain; there were some nice subjective camera angles but the mediocre lighting sabotaged it (very washed out); she takes on an average-sized tool; her ass looks good on the high-angle doggie-style corning but the piss poor lighting killed it and they didn’t hold the shot long enough; she gets a big facial spray-down with eyes included. WENDY JAMES – I love her fair skinned complexion; the blindfold factor is pretty hot; the face is fairly cute; the high-angle shot of her on all fours smoking horn was super hot with her skinny well-shaped frame but the shot was short-lived; she does a left-handed jerk-off towards her face and due to lack of coordination, load flew everywhere. It reminded me of moments from my youth…super hot. Cum Swapping Sluts #5Studio: Red Light District“Worth About Two Squirts of Piss”…I’m not going to waste much time reviewing this one. In a nutshell, here is the summary: VANESSA VALENZUELA – cute until I saw a much better ass on her “partner in crime” CYTHERIA; faked spontaneity and lust by leaving clothes on while shagging should be utilized more in porn; MYA JOHNSON has a decent face and a very hot body but was poorly utilized with lame-o underneath cam angles during the even lamer standing doggie-style; at the end of the day, this is some weak ass poop. Rocco: Animal Trainer #13Studio: Rocco Siffredi“There is Some Hotness and Some Oddness”…If you’re into domination, labia clamps, Ben-Wah balls dildo this may be -- “your cup of tea”. BLACK TOLLY – a fairly appealing medium-skinned Asian with a thin long frame; paired with Rocco and a blonde whitey who receives most of the dicking; Tolly looks hot slobbing Rocco’s hefty meat while he hand wraps her hair into a pony tail; NO doggie-style on Tolly was borderline criminal; cornhole eating by both girls; cornhole action. Afterwards, these girls blow a dozen guys (most aren’t hung at all). BETTINA and KRISTA – Nacho Vidal pilfers in for some MFF action way-to-brief doggie on Bettina; Krista gets corned; Bettina is grossly under utilized. KETY and VIKI – MMFF; pale red head and pale brunette; swapping; pussy clamps used on red head; Rocco corns both; Rocco blasts brunette’s face while other actor fills her foxhole. Lots of subjective view which was good but too much underneath or forgotten sexual positions. Ladies looks are overall good. If you like it Snasty…you might enjoy this. Voyeur #7Studio: Evil Angel“Dated isn’t Always a Bad Thing”……but in this case it is. I can deal with the dated hairstyles and hairier bush but large marge asses and loose foxholes I refuse to accept. Don’t get me wrong, there are a few fairly attractive girls here but only one girl is on the thinner side of the equation. And her skin is disgustingly tan and her hooter job is valued at around $3.99. She does engage in some public sex which I give them creative credit for. MARIA De SANCHEZ – She is pretty decent looking but the dated leggings and lingerie made her look even larger than she was. There are MMF and FFM scenes but they barely did anything for me. There really aren’t any trolls but the superfluous amount of average thick bodies made this a lackluster effort. Good luck “waxing the donkey” to this one Gents. Good luck indeed. Ass Cream Pies #3Studio: Anabolic“Techno Plus Headbanger’s Ball Equals Annoying”…The music that persists throughout the movie is techno music with a “sniff” of hard rock. You can still hear some of the actor’s noise making but I really don’t get it. There wasn’t anything about the theme of the movie that warranted using this music throughout. It was especially annoying that they didn’t fade it out once the action got hot and heavy. ALEXA MAY – the lying on side with legs together while smoking dick was nice; the cowgirl riding while taking it in the corn and smoking pole was gorgeous; a long doggie-style scene was needed but neglected; she smokes the carp out of two meaty poles; her foxhole is beautiful. VANESSA VIRGIN – a very natural body; the doggie-style underneath cam angles were terrible as all it showed was t-sac and acne; she has nice pillowy butt cheeks which were well displayed while she rode tool and smoked another. This was okay at best. Next! Nasty Nymphos #3Studio: Anabolic“Predominantly Weak Sauce”…Most of the females in this movie didn’t work for me but I thought the SEAN MICHAELS/VIVIAN/SATOMI SUZUKI scene might have potential. Unfortunately it was largely (no pun intended) just that – potential. VIVIAN has an adorably cute face chock full of braces and a soft but appealing figure. There was a decent horn-blow MFF sequence but I would quickly realize that dark lighting would likely sabotage the effort. It wasn’t horribly dark but clearly so dark that it sabotaged the visuals most of the time. Vivian’s pillowy butt cheeks looked good riding Sean’s lengthy pole. He dry-boned her so it took her a “minute” to slide down. He corns the girls and does a “washer/dryer stackable doggie-style” back-and-forth with them. Vivian (Thai) has some skin blemishes on her body but most are forgivable. Her skin tone is more medium whereas Satomi is a lighter skinned Japanese girl. The girls seemed to have fun with “long dong” and were almost always affected by the sex. You could tell Vivian had a rough time initially taking big boy in her cornhole. There is a nice high-angle shot of this action. The girls share a facial blast. The rest of the girls were non-factors in my book. NEXT! Once You Go Black... You Never Go Back #1Studio: Jules Jordan Video“Beyond Tired of the Asian Talent in this Country”…The XXX Asian talent in America isn’t doing anything for me. Where are the fair skinned Asian honies? This movie features the thick or the overly tanned Asians that are standard fare in American porn. For my palate, they do nothing. CRIS TALIANA – thick body; face appealing enough; doggie-style decent; cowgirl decent; MMF; one pole is mostly average and another slightly above average; sex nothing special. SABRINE MAUI – way too tan; she is thicker than when I saw her many years ago which I guess isn’t surprising; doggie-style corn action with subjective angle is decent; pole above average; sex mostly mediocre; she’s an over-actor. Camera angles mixed bag; lighting mixed bag; scene set-up weak. ALEXA RAE, AUGUST, MELANIE JAGGER – no interest in any of these ladies. This movie – “Blew doors”. NEXT! Little White Slave Girls #3Studio: Evasive Angles“Too Much Underneath Cam Angles”…I’m unsure as to exactly when directors determined that looking at hairy cracks and hairy t-sacs was more appealing than high-angle or medium shots highlighting more appealing penetration, cool perspectives, hot bodies and pretty faces. The underneath shot is notorious for displaying flaws like feta cheese thighs, pot bellies, stretch marks, pimples and other unmentionables. Regardless, there are some hot moments within this movie. RAMONA – Her face is mediocre but the body is kickin’ in this MMMF scene. The medium shot of that sweet ass getting done doggie while blowing horn was pretty damn hot. The horn blowing portion opening sequence was nice as well. The scene set-up was pretty lame and acting was “zesty”. LUCY (at least I think this is the “Euro” movie actress Lucy) – Her face is really pretty and the body is nearly as good. She is a tall drink of water with a sweetly shaped ass. The scene set-up is a little better especially if you love the idea of a dude watching his girl get pounded by two hung dudes. The horn blowing was hot but once again WAY too many underneath angles sabotaged this scene. The only time we get a full view of her ass bent over she doesn’t even have a tool inside of her. Weak! Even when there is a doggie-style corning with horn-blow, the actor nailing her has his leg up obstructing our view. And no high-angle shot which is the most neglected shot in porn and also the hottest, the “dragon position” – doggie-style while lying flat being the second hottest. This scene could have been so much hotter if it was filmed better. Fortunately they attempted to salvage it with a hot facial spray-down. I vetoed the blonde whitie scenes, as usual. Lewd Conduct #18Studio: Diabolic“Mostly Carp, but One Actress Stands Out”…DIA – cute face with braces; latine; medium frame; nice body; ugly low back tat isn’t small; MMF; she isn’t young nor old; mostly hot sex. Forgettable Girls – VICTORIA, LEAH STEVENSON, ELIZABETH, LYLA LEI, RENEE PORNERO. All of these girls have either a thick frame, bad skin, aren’t cute, loose foxhole, weak performance etc. In essence, none were hot enough to capture any interest from me. ROXY – gross tats and lots of them. KATSUNI – looking aged; MMF. SABRINE MAUI – she looks hot even though she isn’t exactly my type; receives all the penetration in MFF with Lyla; weak cam angles often sabotage scene; above average tool; doggie-style almost all underneath visuals. Hot Latin Pussy Adventures #19Studio: T.T.B. Productions“Lack of Enthusiasm and Actual Talent”…If you like really dark-skinned Latines with meaty asses you might find something here. Otherwise, move it on out. I’d heard that Venezuelan chickadees were hot but I barely got a “sniff” of it here. You might get a decent face on one but a mediocre face or vice versa. Also, there are way too many low-angles versus high-angles, panning shots, medium or subjective view shots. Low-angle shots typically add nothing and aren’t very flattering. This is especially true if you’re an “ass man” and in regards to Latine lovers I believe we ALL are. There is some decent MFF action in a couple of different scenes. I preferred the horn-blowing segments to the sex due to reasons already mentioned and the fact that some girls had nasty looking foxholes. Furthermore, the majority of the girls in this movie have subpar looking skin. In regards to the lack of enthusiasm, one of the hotter girls gets a load dropped on her ass and immediately runs like a track sprinter to the shower. The best scene is a MMFF scene with Nacho Vidal and TT Boy. Unfortunately, the girls were more “cooperative” versus being actually “enthusiastic”. There was lots of swapping which made it pretty decent.