All Reviews by Coolbreeze
Oriental KittenStudio: VCX"False Advertising At Its Not-So-Finest"...I'm giving this movie two stars due to the following reasons: the sexual positions were more creative than today's adult movies; there were some decent bodies on the actresses; the music was strong. I've never seen a Suzy Chung movie but I can tell you that the girl on the box cover looks WAY hotter than the Asian girl in the movie. I don't even see a resemblance. Also, the still photo of the posterior is not on the Asian girl in this movie and doesn't seem to be "present and accounted for" in this movie. In a MFF scene a black guy has the Asian girl and a white girl bent over and stacked. He does one doggie-style and performs oral sex on the other. This was pretty decent. Also, a MMF scene with a white girl has some better than average sexual positions. The Bossa Nova jazz ("The Girl from Ipannema") music in the background was almost surreal. I never would've seen that coming. The movie has two mediocre John Holmes scenes. Also, the scene with John Holmes and the Asian girl on the box cover DOES NOT appear in this movie. This is false advertising at its not-so-finest in motion. I wouldn't bother with this...there are much better works in the 70s'. High School BunniesStudio: VCX“Only if you’re a true fan of Old Skool Porn”…The lighting and the visual quality of the film (especially considering its age) are good throughout. The storyline is juvenile and simplistic but at least one exists. Beth Anna isn’t as cute as she appears on box covers. Her three on one, MMMF gangbang was rather weak. There were no position changes and little heat to speak of. Most actresses are fairly attractive with one cute brunette stand-out. She gets done doggie in a orgy scene. Her ass looks really nice and it photographed well (shy of a high-angle shot). All in all, this movie simply didn’t “fire me up”. It was like “going through the motions” of a workout versus actually pushing yourself through each exercise. Sugar BritchesStudio: VCX“Whackability Low but Honies are Present”…It’s been my experience that the majority of films shot in the 70s’ have a low whack factor. Unfortunately, they are often sabotaged/plagued by dark lighting, poor audio, poor image quality and short sex scenes. It’s too bad because often they will have nice erotic storylines and better acting. My favorite scenes in this movie featured a brunette maid in a MFFF bondage scene and an athletic brunette hottie in lace-ups and a red top and sexy shorts in a MMF scene. The two actors tagged her inside a screened in porch of a cabin in the woods. Another con of this movie was there seemed to be no real storyline. Although, I’ll confess that after the first scene I utilized the FF button excessively to find “the hot tail on a hot tin roof”. Both sex scenes mentioned had some brief hot moments but nothing was “golden” due to the reasons I mentioned above.
Kristara Barrington Unleashed!Studio: VCX“Classic Asian Tail -- Barely Unleashed”…The first couple of scenes feature “two pump chumps” so there is zero “whack factor” going on. There is a group scene in which a bunch of mattresses are placed together. Unfortunately there is zero interplay between the 3-4 couples so the heat factor is nominal at best. Borderline “three pump chumps” are featured here. I will say that Kristara’s body looks extra hot in a few scenes featured on this movie. While her ass isn’t incredibly shapely it looks very shaggable when riding tool or being done doggie-style. Another plus with Kristara is her foxhole looks “snug as a bug in a rug” even when she’s taking on an average-sized tool. In one scene her nice pillowy soft butt cheeks are featured in a doggie-style segment but the picture quality is poor. Throughout the movie some video quality is good and some is mediocre leaning toward bad. Although, the biggest factors which sabotaged this movie were not enough doggie-style (a running theme with these Kristara compilations) and there are many bad camera angles. I would only rent this if you love that Korean fair-skinned look to the 10th power. Otherwise, “keep on sniffin”… Summertime BlueStudio: VCX“The Best Thing Was the Video Quality”…The most surprising thing was that for a 70s’ movie the video quality was nearly always above average. The movie opens with a shortie brunette who I believe is ARCADIA LAKE and a tall redhead with an unappealing face. Arcadia has some jacked up malfangled vampirish teeth but beyond that she is pretty appealing. There is a real absence of doggie-style action overall and that had me mostly tuning out. The lezbo action with the two girls was pretty decent including a “double-dong” penetration ending. You will have to endure many goofy tan lines from bathing suits which suddenly is distracting to my eye. There is a brief orgy scene but it is all boring missionary action with most of the penetration concealed (weak sauce). The JOHN HOLMES action is just okay. There was one decent creamy facial finish he gave a blondie. Most of the girls just didn’t physically work for me. Unfortunately, the best camera work was utilized on the ugly redhead. “No bueno”… Case Of The Missing Seka Master, TheStudio: VCX“Ron Jon Does it Again”…There are three tasty scenes in this movie. One consists of a tri-fecta lesbo scene, another with a cute Asian (MELINE MASGLO?) in a MF scene and another with RON JEREMY and a fairly cute brunette (NATALIA HARRIS?) and petite Asian honey (KEANA?). The MFF with “Ron Jon” was the superior scene for me. Watching Ronny boy bury his long-dong doggie-style on that cutie Asian’s sweet ass while she licked box on the brunette was almost too much to take (and eventually was). There were some nice high-angle and medium shots which displayed things beautifully (see box shots and screen shots) and the camera angles were held fairly long. Later Ron goes the “cornroute” on the whitey which looked pretty nice. Ron is looking pretty heinous in this movie which makes it all that more spectacular that he is hammering these “porn” 8.0 or 8.5 girls. The cutting back and forth between these scenes and old Seka scenes is a minor annoyance but mostly doesn’t interrupt the whack factor.
Daughters Of EmmanuelleStudio: VCX"A Cornfusing Porn Indeed"...There are some appealing ladies here but some of that is ruined due to limited camera angles and too many close-ups. The thin tall fair-skinned brunette is appealing with a pretty nice butt but only close-ups are shown and a long-shot as an actor in a lion's costume tags her. RON JEREMY unleashes his pole and the action is decent. There was too much FF action or lackluster FFM action with small tools. All in all, simply not enough heat and too many weird props and gimmicks (i.e. costumes, food, liquids etc.) were utilized. SylviaStudio: VCX"Watch a Toad Become a Princess..."Okay, so maybe not a princess...but she's pretty attractive. This is a surreal movie which involves a psychologist, religion and drug users to name a few. The film opens with a vacuum cleaner salesman with two "hoses". Sylvia (the featured actress) morphs from a homely school marm (okay, not old) to a $2.00 whore periodically throughout the film. There are plenty of sex scenes if only the duration of these scenes were longer. The biggest ASSets of this film are the natural bodies, fairly interesting storyline and group sex/orgy. One actress gets restrained and slapped around which seemed a bit over the top. However, the sequence calms down as she leaves the room prior to any sex taking place. The lighting is at times subpar but not horrible. One scene has Sylvia in MMF sex in a "sandbox" style bed. Typical of 70s' films there is some good natural heat but sexual positions aren't held long enough for us to enjoy that heat. Also, they have too many long shots when medium or close-ups would've given the viewer a much better perspective. Overall, this is pretty decent classic 70s' porn but it may be tough for you to "peel the onion". Sweet CheeksStudio: VCXA Very Accurate Title Indeed...Becky Savage has one of the best posteriors of the 70s' and beyond. Her face isn't great but her body is comparable to Veronica Hart, Angel and Annette Haven. Watching Johnny Wad take her doggie-style was the highlight of this film. Unfortunately, the film is bogged down with too many flashbacks/flash-forwards. Also, the sex scenes are WAY too short. I thought the overall story was pretty decent and had some nice locations. The worst scene for me was the 2 on 1 (MMF) that took place in a tray of fake auto shop grease. Not visually appealing to me but maybe it works for some. Pony GirlsStudio: VCX“Borderline Beastiality Failed to Please”…The most interesting part of this move was a female giving a pony an erotic massage while half-naked. Had she yanked off the pony, slobbed it or did doggie-style with it, there would’ve been something interesting to see. The rest of the movie features women having sex ON top of or near horses. The “tail” (females) are not very appealing overall and the cock timber is often small. Also, the visuals aren’t great with any positive camera angle not held long enough. Lighting and visual quality range from okay to weak. There was no way to “hammer Hank” to this one. Actresses featured included: Shirley White, Susan Critz, Anne Beatty, Maureen Kelly, Diane Baxter, Bonnie Mulford, Candida Royalle and Carole Tong. Carole was fairly appealing but mostly poorly utilized in the back of a moving truck. NEXT!