We like amateurs, but this was a very self-conscious effort.
The first couple were cute, but they tried positions that they had clearly never tried off-camera. There was struggling. There was difficulty maintaining an erection. There was resentment and anger.
Second couple were fine, except the dude couldn't bring himself to take of his wrap-around reflector sunglasses. And there were cameo appearances from the dog and the cat.
Third couple were OK, too.
Bottom line: We didn't get off. We got to the end, looked at each other, nodded, and realized there was nothing that had stirred the loins.