All Reviews by Xgollum
|Where the Boys Aren't #11|
Solid Lesbian Porno
Janine and Dyanna Lauren run a women's bordello for women. You see the cast list, that's all there is to the plot, and like all the WTBA series, it ends with an orgy of all the women in the movie.
|Where the Boys Aren't #10|
One Of The Best Of The Series
this is a ridiculous romeo and juliet story set between lesbian street gangs. the ludicrous situation is cause for some hysterically bad dialouge between the actresses. the gangs are made up of all the white, blonde actresses, and all the others, who are all slightly 'ethnic'. janine and heather hunter are having a forbidden affair behind the backs of their gangs, and it cumulates in a great scene in the rain between h & j and the typical ending orgy.
great title, even the bad dialouge makes it more watchable, just cuz it's funny.
|Perverted Point Of View|
The POV thing, while not through the WHOLE dvd, still got annoying quickly. I only rated it as highly as I did because I really liked a few of the girls. Some of the others got on my nerves. I swear I've seen the Aurora snow scene before as well. Maybe this is a compilation in disguise?
Hardly great porn, there's a weird plot that I never paid attention to, but the sex is damn good. Charlene Aspen, in particular, whom I've never seen before, is an amazingly hot dirty talker. i don't think much of Linda Diego, but even she wasn't bad in here. Nikita Denise however, is mostly wasted, which is a disappointment. Not a bad rental, though.
|Where The Boys Aren't #8|
Best Of The Series
this movie, while not having much of a plot, at least makes the effort (the next entry, WTBA 9 is just silly excuses for scenes). All the women in the movie were banging the same guy at one point or another, and then he dies. He leaves his fortune to all of them, but they have to cooperate to get it. And in the act of cooperating, they all have sex with each other. Added bonus of having Nikki Tyler in one of her last scenes before she got all scary. highly recommended.
|Flesh Hunter #3|
Studio: Jules Jordan Video
Basically, if you know Jules Jordan you know what to expect. This is basically Ass Worship with a different title. The best scene is probably Alexa's, she starts out in a white skirt suit and thigh highs, it's friggin' awesome. Otherwise, it's the same as AW, most of the scenarios are 'scenes' where the girls are either surprised or coerced into sex. Alexas is the only one where anal isn't feature. So long as you know what you're getting into, the women are mostly hot (except for Austin O'Neill) and there's two hours of material. Extras are pretty much absent.
|Beat The Devil|
Studio: Digital Playground
Better Than Expected
First of all, contrary to what the cast line up says, Bunny Luv: not in this film. Secondarily, if you don't like Evan Stone, and I don't think much of him, he'll drive you nuts in this movie. Thirdly, most of the cast can't act their way out of a damp paper bag.
That said, it's a darn fine porn film. A guy sells his soul to the devil (Belial) in exchange for being irresistable to women, and he makes a living as a gigilo. Only twenty years after the fact, the ravages of age mean he can't bone the way he used to, so he goes back to the devil to renegotiate.
There's only really four full fledged sex scenes in this movie, but they're long, two of them have Jesse Jane in them, and one is a lesbian scene between two blond euro girls, so it's worth it. Jane, whom I've only seen in little roles before, is a sex fiend like I've seen only a couple of other actresses be. She's insane. She balls the hell out of both guys she acts with in her two scenes and it's just amazing. You won't fast forward, that much I promise.
Other than that, the twist ending is fairly obligatory, but clever. The movie, on a whole, is much more solid than I was expecting and reminded me why, at the end of the day, I like plotted movies with (even bad) scripts more than gonzo porn.
|Farrah's All Girl Adventure|
Studio: Erotic Angel
Good Movie But Yikes
Farrah, the chick on the cover, she's pretty hot, huh? Too bad she's the only girl in this entire movie who doesn't look like she was beaten with ugly sticks. I'm not kidding, it's pathetic. one has a hot accent, and is moderately attractive, but the rest of them are either unattractive, on the wrong side of forty, or both. What the hell?
That said, the scenarios are kind of funny, sometimes, and the sex isn't at all bad. So long as you look from the shoulders down.
Studio: Erotic Angel
The Friggin' Deigo Show
Firstly, I have to say that the chick who 'stars' and directed this movie, Linda Diego, has changed her name so many damn times another girl in the movie doesn't know what her name is.
Secondly, she's the kind of girl who's convinced that she's really sexy, so she spends her time doing silly things with her arms, adn then she gives herself a five minute dance in the middle of the film.
The only reason I'm giving this 2 stars instead of 1 is I love Chandler, and any movie with her isn't a total ruin. However, how you can waste a chick with a foreign accent and Farrah is a crying shame.
The best part is I've seen this house in another porn before.
|My PlayToy #1|
The Short Review: Skip it.
The Long Review:
If I could give this film 0 stars, I would. Virtual sex dvds have been around for at least five years now, if you're going to through your hat in that ring, it should not be hard to get the best ideas from other films. it's not like all porn isn't 'borrowing' from all other porn anyway. This movie is made as if someone suggested a virtual sex dvd, and the guy who designed it hadn't ever seen anyone else's virtual sex films. The engine is bad, the footage isn't POV at all, and the cumshots are laughable. At least the other dvds went to the trouble of doing them digitally. They were bad, but they weren't doing what this film does, which is have the guy's torso move off camera, and then spooge is hosed onto the actress (i use the term generously) like it's being shot out of a squeeze bottle. You hit the bukakke button and it's like there's several elephants cumming from off camera. It's ridiculous. The actresses are sub par at best. All they had to do was look at other dvds and do it better. Instead they did it as poorly as possibly, and the only virtual part of it is hitting buttons to tell them what to do. My playtoy, Blonde and Brunette, both sucks and blows, and neither in the good ways. Skip it.
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