All Reviews by Coolbreeze
|World Sex Tour #1|
“Above Average Tail but the Camera Angles Blew Bull Balls”…
CORALIE – She takes on two tools in a moving subway train. The camera angles were often lacking or transitions were way too quick. I wish more adult directors understood that it’s much nicer if you lock on a camera angle for a couple of minutes before transitioning. Otherwise, how are we supposed to “hammer Hank”? Apparently they expect us to have our thumbs locked on the fast forward and rewind buttons. Regardless, this girl is pretty attractive and looks hot during the action. SUZY CAT – This MMF scene was pretty nice but there were WAY too many underneath camera angles. High angles shots of the doggie-style action are neglected entirely. She “may” have had a nice ass but who would ever know? PENELOPE – This cute girl was hotter than a piss sandwich. Unfortunately, we are subjected to an ass-load of underneath “pouch-punching” and low angle “sack to crack” camera work. Fortunately, the scene is salvaged a bit near the end during the doggie-style action where we are provided with a frontal/side view of her torso, legs, backside and face simultaneously. This is a beautiful perspective and should be used in every adult movie ever made…or at least the features that include a girl with a hot face and tight body. This movie would have been a minimum four star affair with more diverse and better camera angle selections. As it is, it barely deserves three stars. Next!
Studio: Evil Angel
"Eva’s Flower and Not Much Else…"
Eva is in two scenes set in an auto shop. While this movie will not be memorable, these two scenes were worth watching. Eva has a Middle Eastern look, I think, and a nice long thin body and a pretty face. Watching Sean Michaels go the corn-route on her made it worth the price of admission. The only other scene worth a hair on a burro’s ass was the one involving an Asian girl in a MMF scene. Unfortunately, mostly crappy camera angles or quick transitions sabotaged this scene. The rest of the girls were just okay or worse. Also, the lighting and camera angles weren’t great in many of the scenes. And, “enough already” with the overused underneath close-up shot of hole to pole. I’ve seen enough hairy sacs, cankles and thunderous thighs to last a lifetime. Next!
|World Sex Tour #8|
“If Only the Talent Matched the Concept”…
I love the idea of picking up new talent in foreign countries and shooting scenes in exotic locales. However, I sometimes wonder if they’re cost-cutting and picking up less attractive talent than they need to. I have a hard time believing in a third world country they can’t find prettier girls willing to do these movies. The cutest girl is STEPHANIE and unfortunately that sweet ass is poorly shot during the doggie-style sequence and her scene was just -- “okay”. I was hoping for more after seeing Sean Michael's bury his long dong in her (she struggled at times in taking the dong) in a MMFF scene in another movie in this series. There is some nice group sex, MMF scenes and exotic shooting locations. However, camera angles aren’t held long enough and more creative camera angles should’ve been chosen (i.e. dragon position, high-angle etc) in scenes like the one which featured JOCELYN. Too often we are exposed to dudes thighs or ham-hocks obstructing the view of these girl’s bodies. You can likely “peel the onion” to this movie but you won’t be “painting the wall by number”. Next!
|There's Something About Jack #9|
Studio: West Coast
“Zero Hips for the Grip”…
The majority of the girls in this movie were “nierney birney”. However, I was drawn to AIKO. We rarely get new Japanese talent in this country or Asians that aren’t Filipino or Thai. Unfortunately, she wasn’t nearly as cute in the movie as she was on the box cover. Also, she has fair skin on the box cover but appears to have obtained a tan for the shoot. Finally, her hips are essentially non-existent. I realize that there are plenty of Asian girls who lack curves given their petite frames. However, if you’ve ever bent over a hip-less chick you’ll know about the straight edge from their armpits to their butt. Typically this equates to a lousy or mediocre ass and definitely not a turn-on. That being said her scene is okay. Watching her smoke the gigantic horn was pretty decent. There was some okay doggie-style action and the dragon position (doggie while lying flat) was good, not great. It would have been nicer if she was more affected by this donkey weapon. But such is life in porn. One of the thin blondies in this movie had a pretty nice ass but I fast forwarded through the rest as they were mediocre at best. Next!
|Up Your Ass #8|
“Outdoors Shooting Plus Piss Poor Camera Angles”…
…Equals Two Squirts of Piss”. The lighting is often mediocre to terrible in this movie. Some of the scenes are shot okay but then poorly chosen camera angles sabotage the effort. Even when they do get a camera angle right, they hold it for two seconds and transition away. MARIA DE SANCHEZ – She looks pretty good in this scene but the fact that it was shot outdoors pretty much kills it. There are some moments where she’s smoking Sean Michael’s tool that are pretty good. There is good reason that most adult films are shot INDOORS. VANESSA – This girl is pretty cute (not as cute as she appears on the box cover of course) but is done horribly wrong with crappy camera angles or angles held for 2-5 seconds and then abandoned. Also, the actor has a completely flaccid cock and can’t seem to “fire it up” for the life of him. One of the two second camera angles occurs during a doggie-style sequence and the reverse cowgirl (riding facing away position). As a result, we get zero looks at that beautifully shaped ass advertised on the box cover. Finally, there is a scene where Sean is interviewed by two hot Latines. Of course there will be no MFF action, not in this wet turd. I take it back, this movie, is worth only “one squirt of piss”. Next!
|Asian Street Hookers #6|
Studio: T.T.B. Productions
“Has its moments”…
Poor choice in shooting location and too many underneath or low-angle shots sabotage this movie. CHARMANE STAR – lame arm tat but forgivable; face is pretty decent until close-up shots; fair skin; ass pretty decent on doggie-style action; puss is loose but not the caboose (nice corning sequence). JOY – bowl cut hair-do is “no bueno” on her; face not pretty at all; looks Gothic but tries to play innocent girl left at home – nice try!; ass decent on doggie-style; gets face painted and looks disgusted…another contradiction in regards to “goth girls”. MILENA – says she is Japanese; thin body; face okay at best but is “interesting” for some reason; Nacho’s tool is as wide as her arms; she looks uncomfortable at times during the aggressive horn-job domination by Nacho; she does well at avoiding getting gagged by Nacho’s moose meat (disappointing); the visual of skinny smoking donkey dick is great; great shape on that ass when bent over but doggie-style cam angles all low-angle and wasted that ass away; Nacho accidentally buffs head in her corn and her knees buckle; she got hammered pretty good and was “cooperative” but never enthusiastic. TERA PATRICK – horrible washed out lighting due to filming outdoors at the pool; Tera was hot for me 12 years ago but my tastes have changed so she doesn’t work for me. Don’t get me wrong, she’s pretty, just not my type.
Studio: Evil Angel
“I Wouldn’t Shave Ass Hair with this Disc”…
CHANTAY – I rented this movie largely for her; ass is fat when she’s standing but decent when bent over or riding pole while actor stands; her face is cute enough but not remarkable. JAZMINE – not very attractive. The rest are not very good looking or my type and ALL DEFINITE PROS. Nothing amateur here. I couldn’t give two squirts for this movie.
|Lewd Conduct #10|
“Spread those Cheeks and Go Greek”…
There is a fair amount of corning here but most of the girls getting corned are fair looking at best. Brandy (a.k.a. Eva in “Euro” movies) is the hottest girl in this movie with Princess the only other one “worth a hair on a burro’s ass”. Brandy’s MMF scene is fairly hot and excluding the addition of a shoulder tattoo, looks as hot as ever. The horn blowing and doggie-style are the best segments. There is a great medium high-angle shot of her smoking pole and taking it from behind. The underneath angles were a little overdone but not as much as a lot of movies. The scene set-up is lame but who gives a carp…this girl is “hotter than a piss sandwich”. If only this movie had more than two attractive girls it could’ve been a lot better. Next!
|Gangbang Girl #26|
Well, They Got It Half Right...
I liked the bowling alley concept but I would have to issue a "pocket veto" if I were cordially invited to a gangbang with Christy Parks. Too thick and not a pretty girl. The Vietnam scene is adequately executed prior to the sex. The camera work for the sex was actually pretty good with some nice high camera angles. Both girls are converted into 3-input girls. Unfortunately, "doggie style" was neglected almost entirely on the very cute Mei Yu. Mei Yu was pretty into the sex and Jade Marcela was somewhat into it at times and other times faking some mild enthusiasm. Maybe worth a rental but I had a difficult time "peeling the onion" to it.
|Asian Lollipops #1|
“Pure Filth…not in a Good Way”…
SABRINE MAUI – She has a thin body and I can barley tell it is her. This must have been one of her first movies. It reminds me of girls you knew in high school that were just “okay” and you see them in college and they blow your hair back. The skin of the actors appears an orange color at times (it fluctuates) throughout the movie. There is a nice high-angle horn-blow shot but then they subject us to crappy stuff like underneath doggie-style shots of hairy t-sacks and hairy corn-holes. The dialogue is lame and the cheap dated-looking motel rooms add nothing. LEILANI WONG – She has looked cute in the past but not in this movie. They really did nothing to bring out the attractiveness of any of these girls. There is some bad lighting on the doggie-style action. There is a nice cam angle on some doggie-style action. ANNA MAY – face not cute; body thick; gross stomach tat; orange skin back again. THAI – thick body; not cute. MAYUMI – face not cute; body thin but still not watchable. Between the terrible image quality, the unattractive actresses and the lousy camera angles this is a “wet turd” of a movie. Next!
|1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 next >>|