All Reviews by Coolbreeze
Studio: Digital Sin
“Worth 2 Hairs on a Burro’s Ass”…
I give one hair for each star I gave this movie. Only two girls are decent and they are ELISE and KELLY WELLS starring with SHANE DIESEL. Elise looks pretty similar in the movie as she does on the cover. She has the girl next door look and a pretty fine ass. Her face is rather ordinary up close and for some reason just not that pretty. The high-angle shot face-fucking during oral was pretty decent. The doggie-style is lousy as it consists of all low-angle and underneath shots. Weak! Where are the high-angle, panning and dragon position shots??? The missionary pile driver is good with those nice thin legs exposed and quality skin. There are WAY too many close-ups during the cowgirl action. The scene concludes with a lame dribbling finish off the mouth. Kelly isn’t any prize to look at but she has a nice petite body with a well-shaped small butt. She reminds me of your average girl in a Walmart on a Friday night about 9pm. Her chatter is mildly annoying with a superflous amount of cussing and dirty girl talk. The highlight here is comparing and contrasting shane’s dark-skinned moose cock dry-corning that small whitey butt-hole during doggie-style. There is something about a wide-load mule dick hammering a tiny butt doggie-style that works for me. Unfortunately, the rest of the girls were “nierney birney”. The lighting was overall pretty good but washed out a bit at times. The camera angles though were the major buzz kill here. I don’t know if there was one medium shot in the entire movie…at least not during penetration.
|Three For All #5|
Studio: New Sensations
Eva = Alexa May = Alexandria? Couldn’t tell ya…
Since seeing “Eva” (a.k.a. Alexa May) in “XXX Road Trip #1” I’ve been utilizing IAFD’s website to track down more of Alexa May’s movies. The Eva in this movie might be the same girl…or she might not be. Regardless the girl in this movie is cute and petite. The scene is set-up with her as a house painter??? Maybe she was an interior designer…I didn’t bother much with the dialogue. Two dudes tag-team her pink ass and the sex is pretty decent. There are some nice high-angle and panning shots but none are held long enough to “peel the onion”. Your thumb will go raw with the rewind button my friends. Well, back to the drawing board as I’ve now seen 3 “Eva” movies and only the Road Trip one “did me right”. PS – If you like light-haired girls you might be down with some of the other females here but none worked for me.
|Me Luv U Long Time #7|
Studio: Red Light District
“Even with Yellow Fever, you may not approve of this Beaver”
This movie is chock full of mediocre looking talent from the Philippines. KEIKO – I couldn’t get beyond the face to get much enjoyment out of this scene. She does get a “royal corning” from a hefty piece of timber. ARCADIA & SHAI – This scene had some decent heat but again these girls are mediocre looking. Ass pimples on Arcadia and Shai’s odd skin surrounding her butt were only a couple of things that turned me off. HEIDI HO – This was the only scene worth watching. Heidi looks good with make-up (and needs it) and her thin body is spot on. The sex is formulaic but Heidi takes it well and is clearly affected. The facial spray-down was pretty nice. Unless any girl will do I recommend moving on to another Asian title. Again, I wish production companies could recruit more Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese and Korean girls. American porn is saturated with mediocre looking Filipino and Thai girls. The best looking ones seem to stay in their countries (excluding the “Asian Fever” series by Hustler. Next!
|Over 18 #3|
This isn’t the worst porn you’ll ever see but it surely isn’t anywhere close to the best porn you’ll ever see. KIMMIE is featured in the best scene in which RON JEREMY goes deep on this skinny minnie. There is some nice doggie-style with horn-blowing action. It is a MMF scene in which she brilliantly portrays a ditzy exchange student. Okay, the acting isn’t grand, but her voice, looks, personality, behavior all scream “bright as a mailbox”. And so the guys take advantage and finish on her face. The worst thing was that it was an outdoors scene which makes the visual aspects at times subpar. KIKI DOLL was in a MMF with a wannabe weightlifter/rocker dude and a black dude. It was okay but not beautifully shot. The other tail (BROOKE, PAPILLON, PEARL) was either mediocre or the sex just didn’t rock the boat. NEXT!
|Asian Lollipops #5|
“So Bad I Couldn’t Whack Tool…
…if my Life Depended on it”. This movie was chock full of unattractive ladies, carpy camera angles and average or below average timber taking them on. I’ve seen a couple of these girls look better in other movies…or at least I think it was them. Was it the lack of make-up? Is this movie from too early in their career before they got “porn pretty”? CHI SUN – not attractive; thick and saggy; face is “no bueno”. TIFFANY WONG – stretch marks; skin quality bad; more enthusiastic here versus other movie I saw her in; tight foxhole. NIKA – nice brief dragon position (doggie, flat on stomach) shot but her arm is in the way and her ass is flat. LONI – terrible looking; saggy tits. There definitely weren’t any superdupermodels here…in fact I don’t think there was a six or a seven anywhere to be found.
|Bootylicious: White Trash|
Studio: JM Productions
"Skunky Cold Medina"...
I'm a definite fan of ALEX DANE but this was not her best work. The film has a pretty nice set-up to her scene (of course we must ignore the acting) which involves lengthy conversation and guys playing dice when she asks them for directions. I say the set-up is nice because they actually spent some time on it and attempted to build characters. Unfortunately, this was about as good as it got. Alex has put on weight (possibly too much Taco Smell) and her face appeared pudgy. While her body was thin and soft it is now thicker and softer. Other negatives include the bright sun out near the pool which didn't flatter her skin tone and blemishes. Also, a lens cleaning "pre-shoot" might have been nice. That lens was about as clean as my windshield after a 5 hour drive on the 5 freeway. There are decent close-ups of her smoking huge horse tool and the donkey tool is buried in her corn as well. But the other actor has a difficult time holding an erection for the entire film. ABBY LANE - forget about it. This girl is mediocre at best. I skipped her. Vanessa Chase - She is kind of cute but there was no heat and nothing special about the scene at all. FELIONA - This girl is straight out "trailer", and not appealing "trailer". She has a huge tat on her boob, another small tat on her low back and another large tat buried in her fur patch. I couldn't get past the ink and "mullet-tude". I'm not sure which was more dated...the faded tats or the hairstyle. Of course she is the one that gets double-stuffed...as luck would have it. Simply put, this film is worth two squirts of female antelope urine.
|A Cum Shooting Stud Named Rocco|
“Camera Angles and Stretched Foxholes”…
These were the only real “ASSets” of this movie. The OPHELIA shag in the can (place not body orifice) was okay but visually appealing sexual positions were limited. SHAWNEE CATES – Asian with a “no bueno” face; hot body; petite; cornhole doggie-style sex was the best and the horn-blowing. This was the best scene but could’ve been even hotter with some dragon-style or better high-angle shots. The rest of the females were trolls or uninteresting. ROCCO can do so much better. NEXT!!!
|Interlude Of Lust|
"Premise Better than the Execution and Talent"...
It seems the 70s’ and 80s’ were a period in porn filmmaking that was more experimental in this genre of risque domination porn. This film has an ex-wife (KAREN HALL?) who visits a sex ranch in NV and pays to have her sexual fantasies explored. Her first fantasy consists of three masked intruders who break into her place and take advantage of her. It was semi-hot but two actors were barely involved with one actor penetrating her vaginally. Karen is featured throughout and she is VERY average looking. Had MAI LIN (also in movie) been in the role of the ex-wife this would’ve been much hotter. In another scene Karen is kidnapped and held for ransom. Separately two of her kidnappers screw her in the boring-as-fluck MISSIONARY position. This film seems to object to doggie-style action or dragon position. Most of the actors aren’t hung at all and many are “two-pump-chumps” which also sabotages the effort. In the end, I enjoyed the attempt to bring sexual heat and domination to the screen but the execution could’ve been much better and much hotter.
|Up Your Ass #23|
“Thank You For Shutting Your Piehole”…
Finally I found another actress that doesn’t ruin a scene with the standard blasé porn dirty talk. Nothing kills the heat of a scene quicker than the forced repetitious dirty girl talk. Thank you CHANEL CHAVEZ! If you enjoy fair skinned Latines, this girl should work for you. Her face isn’t my preferred look but her body and performance definitely make up for it. Mr. Marcus pounds away on her doggie while she tries to multi-task by horning Brian Pumper. She gyrates on the tool of Mr. Marcus with precision rhythm. I don’t think anyone does it better than the Latines. The camera angles are very well chosen to highlight this girl’s ASSets. My favorite sequences were the frontal perspective high angle shot with Brian doing her doggie while she horned Mr. Marcus and where they double-stuffed her in the cowgirl position. This girl may not have been overwhelmed throughout but clearly is affected by the sex. CHIQUITA – Her body has looked tighter and her skin is simply unacceptable. Next! SANDRA – She is fairly attractive but too tan/orange (fake bake?) for my tastes. VANESSA – She is a good looking girl but the sex didn’t seem to fire me up. My rating is essentially based on the one scene and the fact that there were a couple of other girls who weren’t trolls.
|Cumback Pussy #44|
Studio: Elegant Angel
“Some Nice Talent but Poorly Utilized”…
JASSIE is a really cute girl with freckles, a thin body and a beautiful ass. That ass receives no doggie-style pounding which I deem a sacrilege. Her MFF scene includes another pretty cute co-star with a nice ass. This girl receives most of the tool which I guess isn’t a surprise since Jassie does a lot of lezbo movies. This scene is fairly nice regardless. The only other decent scene features BRANDI LYONS. She is fairly attractive with an above average body. Her MMF scene includes a nice doggie-style pounding and some double penetration. Unfortunately, I got a little turned off by the gaping corn-hole. The rest of the talent is subpar. There are much better in this series. Next!
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