All Reviews by Coolbreeze
|Three For All #5|
Studio: New Sensations
Eva = Alexa May = Alexandria? Couldn’t tell ya…
Since seeing “Eva” (a.k.a. Alexa May) in “XXX Road Trip #1” I’ve been utilizing IAFD’s website to track down more of Alexa May’s movies. The Eva in this movie might be the same girl…or she might not be. Regardless the girl in this movie is cute and petite. The scene is set-up with her as a house painter??? Maybe she was an interior designer…I didn’t bother much with the dialogue. Two dudes tag-team her pink ass and the sex is pretty decent. There are some nice high-angle and panning shots but none are held long enough to “peel the onion”. Your thumb will go raw with the rewind button my friends. Well, back to the drawing board as I’ve now seen 3 “Eva” movies and only the Road Trip one “did me right”. PS – If you like light-haired girls you might be down with some of the other females here but none worked for me.
|Me Luv U Long Time #7|
Studio: Red Light District
“Even with Yellow Fever, you may not approve of this Beaver”
This movie is chock full of mediocre looking talent from the Philippines. KEIKO – I couldn’t get beyond the face to get much enjoyment out of this scene. She does get a “royal corning” from a hefty piece of timber. ARCADIA & SHAI – This scene had some decent heat but again these girls are mediocre looking. Ass pimples on Arcadia and Shai’s odd skin surrounding her butt were only a couple of things that turned me off. HEIDI HO – This was the only scene worth watching. Heidi looks good with make-up (and needs it) and her thin body is spot on. The sex is formulaic but Heidi takes it well and is clearly affected. The facial spray-down was pretty nice. Unless any girl will do I recommend moving on to another Asian title. Again, I wish production companies could recruit more Chinese, Taiwanese, Japanese and Korean girls. American porn is saturated with mediocre looking Filipino and Thai girls. The best looking ones seem to stay in their countries (excluding the “Asian Fever” series by Hustler. Next!
|Asian Lollipops #5|
“So Bad I Couldn’t Whack Tool…
…if my Life Depended on it”. This movie was chock full of unattractive ladies, carpy camera angles and average or below average timber taking them on. I’ve seen a couple of these girls look better in other movies…or at least I think it was them. Was it the lack of make-up? Is this movie from too early in their career before they got “porn pretty”? CHI SUN – not attractive; thick and saggy; face is “no bueno”. TIFFANY WONG – stretch marks; skin quality bad; more enthusiastic here versus other movie I saw her in; tight foxhole. NIKA – nice brief dragon position (doggie, flat on stomach) shot but her arm is in the way and her ass is flat. LONI – terrible looking; saggy tits. There definitely weren’t any superdupermodels here…in fact I don’t think there was a six or a seven anywhere to be found.
|Bootylicious: White Trash|
Studio: JM Productions
"Skunky Cold Medina"...
I'm a definite fan of ALEX DANE but this was not her best work. The film has a pretty nice set-up to her scene (of course we must ignore the acting) which involves lengthy conversation and guys playing dice when she asks them for directions. I say the set-up is nice because they actually spent some time on it and attempted to build characters. Unfortunately, this was about as good as it got. Alex has put on weight (possibly too much Taco Smell) and her face appeared pudgy. While her body was thin and soft it is now thicker and softer. Other negatives include the bright sun out near the pool which didn't flatter her skin tone and blemishes. Also, a lens cleaning "pre-shoot" might have been nice. That lens was about as clean as my windshield after a 5 hour drive on the 5 freeway. There are decent close-ups of her smoking huge horse tool and the donkey tool is buried in her corn as well. But the other actor has a difficult time holding an erection for the entire film. ABBY LANE - forget about it. This girl is mediocre at best. I skipped her. Vanessa Chase - She is kind of cute but there was no heat and nothing special about the scene at all. FELIONA - This girl is straight out "trailer", and not appealing "trailer". She has a huge tat on her boob, another small tat on her low back and another large tat buried in her fur patch. I couldn't get past the ink and "mullet-tude". I'm not sure which was more dated...the faded tats or the hairstyle. Of course she is the one that gets double-stuffed...as luck would have it. Simply put, this film is worth two squirts of female antelope urine.
|A Cum Shooting Stud Named Rocco|
“Camera Angles and Stretched Foxholes”…
These were the only real “ASSets” of this movie. The OPHELIA shag in the can (place not body orifice) was okay but visually appealing sexual positions were limited. SHAWNEE CATES – Asian with a “no bueno” face; hot body; petite; cornhole doggie-style sex was the best and the horn-blowing. This was the best scene but could’ve been even hotter with some dragon-style or better high-angle shots. The rest of the females were trolls or uninteresting. ROCCO can do so much better. NEXT!!!
|Up Your Ass #23|
“Thank You For Shutting Your Piehole”…
Finally I found another actress that doesn’t ruin a scene with the standard blasé porn dirty talk. Nothing kills the heat of a scene quicker than the forced repetitious dirty girl talk. Thank you CHANEL CHAVEZ! If you enjoy fair skinned Latines, this girl should work for you. Her face isn’t my preferred look but her body and performance definitely make up for it. Mr. Marcus pounds away on her doggie while she tries to multi-task by horning Brian Pumper. She gyrates on the tool of Mr. Marcus with precision rhythm. I don’t think anyone does it better than the Latines. The camera angles are very well chosen to highlight this girl’s ASSets. My favorite sequences were the frontal perspective high angle shot with Brian doing her doggie while she horned Mr. Marcus and where they double-stuffed her in the cowgirl position. This girl may not have been overwhelmed throughout but clearly is affected by the sex. CHIQUITA – Her body has looked tighter and her skin is simply unacceptable. Next! SANDRA – She is fairly attractive but too tan/orange (fake bake?) for my tastes. VANESSA – She is a good looking girl but the sex didn’t seem to fire me up. My rating is essentially based on the one scene and the fact that there were a couple of other girls who weren’t trolls.
|Cumback Pussy #44|
Studio: Elegant Angel
“Some Nice Talent but Poorly Utilized”…
JASSIE is a really cute girl with freckles, a thin body and a beautiful ass. That ass receives no doggie-style pounding which I deem a sacrilege. Her MFF scene includes another pretty cute co-star with a nice ass. This girl receives most of the tool which I guess isn’t a surprise since Jassie does a lot of lezbo movies. This scene is fairly nice regardless. The only other decent scene features BRANDI LYONS. She is fairly attractive with an above average body. Her MMF scene includes a nice doggie-style pounding and some double penetration. Unfortunately, I got a little turned off by the gaping corn-hole. The rest of the talent is subpar. There are much better in this series. Next!
Studio: American Hardcore
“More Humidity than Indonesia”…
If you like down and dirty porn including sloppy, filthy wet horn-jobs then rent away. The throat gagging, deep-throating, cock spitting and “waterfall saliva drooling” seemed like it went on for days. JAMIE – This girl is good looking with a spectacular ass and is “tat free”. Her looks are definitely above average for the porn world. The MMF sex is very nasty girl style with continual blasé porn talk by the fellas (fortunately Jamie mostly closes her pie-hole except when blowing horn). The cowgirl and doggie-style sequence camera work is good at highlighting this hottie’s ASSets. One actor gets caught up in the moment and begins shagging Jamie’s high heel shoe (while it is still on her) while she rides the other actor’s tool. Hur??? Both actors pop in the mouth to close the scene. This was the only scene I rented this movie for. Check Jamie out in the “Screw My Wife Please” series (can’t recall the number) where she gets a nice pounding from Chris Charming. Hopefully this girl will do more group sex and go interracial eventually. “Good times” will be had by all.
|Young Asian Cuties #1|
Studio: Kick Ass
"One and a Half out of Five…"
That is how many scenes are worthwhile in this movie. LOTUS – The scene opens with a fake dry cleaner business scenario. Well, at least they tried. Her nice little body looks good while she blows horn. Some good camera angles are utilized. GIANNA – She has a thick frame, a mediocre face (at best), nipple piercings, tats galore, a belly ring and a tongue ring. Ironically, I don’t think her ears are pierced. In a nutshell, this girl has more metal in her body than an auto salvage yard. I’m out. MYA – Thick, too much ink with an okay face. Next! TAYA – Her face is decent and she has a well-shaped, thin body. The scene opens in a supposed Asian massage parlor. At the end of the massage the actor asks for a “happy ending”. Taya rings a bell and a large man enters. This was actually pretty humorous as the actor explains that he wants the girl back. Eventually Taya reappears and it is – game on. She looks good blowing the very large mushroom head of the actor. The director wastes too much time on the underneath doggie cam angles. Her tiny ass looks nice riding the big tool. She is a good sport taking the deep penetration in the missionary position with Mushroom Man. The actor sounds like a dying Norwegian Elkhound when he blows his load on her face. KINA – She has an adorable face and a nicely shaped petite body. Unfortunately, this is the first time I’ve seen her take an average sized tool…and I’m not a fan. Normally she takes the donkey tools and likes it. Her ass/body looks good in the cowgirl and doggie shots. The director should’ve held the medium shots of that body getting done doggie for a minute or more. The high-angle doggie view is nice but the lighting doesn’t shine for her like it has in other movies. If you don’t care much about faces this movie might work out okay for you.
Studio: Badass Pictures
“Good Luck” finding the Asian honey shown on the box cover in this movie. She isn’t displayed in the scene icons on the menu and I fast forwarded through the entire movie and saw zero actresses that resembled her. I only rented this movie because she was an unfamiliar Asian actress to my eye. This reminds me of the 80s’ and 90s’ when it was fairly common for a production company to include a photo of an actress on the box cover that wasn’t to be found in the movie. Or, they would have the box cover honey act as a narrator only. Weak! Another 80s’ and 90s’ feature of this movie is the lighting and settings. I can’t exactly explain it but the feel is very “dated” even though the box cover appears to be more current porn. The only scene decent enough for me to take my finger off the fast forward button was the MMMF scene with a natural looking girl with a pretty decent ass. The sex is fairly hot even though only one actor possesses enough “timber” to show her a good time. In a nutshell, this movie is weaker than a Bigelow tea sack. Next!
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