All Reviews by Coolbreeze |  | Up Your Ass #16 Studio: Anabolic
“Jade was an Appropriate Name Choice”…
The only decent or better looking tail in this entire movie was JADE. She wasn’t amazing or anything but had appealing qualities and characteristics. She didn’t overact (for the most part) but she took two very large or huge tools WAY too easily which sabotaged her effort. Honey please…you have to at least act as if you can feel it or are “affected” in a clear way when they enter your foxhole and especially your cornhole. Men REQUIRE this in their porn at the bare minimum level. Her body was a bit thick but her sweet “cheeks” and rack-of-lamb helped me forget for a while. Unfortunately many camera angles were low angles and not very appealing. We needed more high-angle shots, dragon position, medium shots, 45 degree angle panning shots etc. LEXINGTON STEELE did give her a nice facial blast to conclude the scene. Finally, if her name was “Jade” then the rest of the female talent in this movie should be named “dirty, roughed up boulder fragment on side of road”. NEXT!
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|  | 18 And Nasty #27 Studio: T.T.B. Productions
"Asses Galore, Oh My Oh My..."
I watched the Reina/Muriel scene and the Orsi/Mindy scene. The other girls just didn't do it for me. Reina is a Japanese hottie who has looked hotter in other movies I've reviewed. She has a terrific ass but in this movie her body reminds me of a $2.00 road whore (i.e. bruises, blemishes, zits) during her off days. Fortunately I can overlook it as she takes on a Latino hung like a baby mule and FINALLY gets done doggie-style. The camera work starts off great in the doggie position but very quickly transitions to the penetration close-up which I have no very little interest in. Let's see more leg and butt during the doggie-action. Or, switch to the high-angle shot where we can see her back and the penetration at a more visually appealing angle. Earlier the girls served him orally and that is pretty nice as well. Again, Reina's enthusiasm is well under par. I swore I saw a look of disgust at one point. The Mindy/Orsi scene began slowly but finished well with another male tag-teaming in. They finish off Mindy with a double-stuff. Orsi is pretty cute but a visit to the dermatologist would do wonders. Sometimes I wonder if these girls realize that they're in front of a camera where people are admiring them and YES judging them as well.
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|  | Flesh Hunter #2 Studio: Jules Jordan Video
My Fond Memories Didn't Come To Fruition...
I had such fond memories of the wrath I unleashed on my "pony" back when I first watched this film when it was released. In fact, the DVD broke which at the time was a devastating loss to my collection. Anyway for nostalgia, I rented this again in the hopes I could re-live some of my Jenna Haze fantasies. Unfortunately, either my tastes have changed or it simply wasn't as good as I remembered it. I found the camera work to be only slightly above average. Also, certain sexual positions weren't held very long and others were held a bit too long without at least modifying the perspective. Make no mistake about it, Jenna has a very pretty face, a cute voice, a very nice body with a terrific ass. Her energy was good during her MMMF but I think I misremembered her acting in this film. It came off as very staged and her enthusiasm really felt too forced. Regardless, I liked the Miss Teen California storyline. And the doggie-style action on the stairs was hot. I will tell you that she looks even better in person. My girl and I saw her at an LA "Dance Club" in 2006 and she stole the show. Not a girl in the place held a candle to her once she hit the stage. I wish she never went blond though. She looks better as a brunette...but either way, she's a hottie. I scanned the rest of the scene again but none of these girls held my interest for more than a city minute.
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|  | XXX Road Trip #1 Studio: Vince Vouyer Unleashed
“Too Pretty for Porn”…
JENNA – her face is okay but her body is amazing. Seriously speaking the facets of her ass are un-be-live-able. There were some decent medium shots of MMF doggie-style action with her. There weren’t any high-angle or dragon position visuals which would have been spectacular on this girl. ESTA – this girl is a bit thick but she is kind of cute. She gets worked over in a MMMF scene. EVA (a.k.a. Alexa May) – I don’t even like red heads given the usual “freckle factor” but this girl doesn’t have them and is -- “hotter than a piss sandwich”. Her face was one of the prettiest I’ve EVER seen in porn. She wasn’t incredibly energetic but she was very accommodating. The very fact that she was in a MMF scene and got corned by above average tools was visually amazing. I was left in disbelief when I reached the end of her scene. How could they skip doggie-style on a honey as pretty as she is. Possibly she has a fat ass or a flat ass? The puss to corn action is pretty hot and her foxhole is very aesthetically pleasing to the eye. The missionary pounding at the close was hot as hell as she was clearly affected. At the end of the day, this movie was sabotaged by missing camera angles and WAY too many underneath camera angles.
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|  | Two In The Seat #1 Studio: Red Light District
“They got me...fooled by the box cover”…
TOLLI CRISTALL – She’s a tall, skinny Mongolian girl with a mediocre face that speaks only her foreign tongue. It is a MMF scene involving two large tools. She has a tough time (i.e. gets noisy, reaches her hand back) when they double-stuff her in the riding position. She looks best when lying flat in the doggie position. ASHLEY – is a fairly cute, slightly pudgy whitey brunette. She does a MMF interracial scene. The tools she takes on are kind of skinny which she easily handles. Also, she’s got the fake porn actress thing down pat which turns me off in the end. JESSICA – I don’t get her at all. Next! ALAURA – She looks like she’s pushing thirty yet fairly attractive. I watched some of her MMF scene but her over-the-top porn acting bored me. KRISTOL – This girl isn’t pretty and has a really bad $5.00 rack of lamb job. I’m out! CINDY – She’s from the Czech Republic and fairly appealing with a little extra padding. The interracial sex with two hung black guys is pretty good but not electric. In conclusion, these girls simply looked better on the box cover than they did on my TV screen. I’m still trying to figure out how Ashley Blue came across as Asian or half-Asian on the box cover.
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|  | Hot Latin Pussy Adventures #23 Studio: T.T.B. Productions
I Love Latines, But This Is No Two Squirty Mcgirty Film
Id love to tell you that youll be painting the wall by number as soon as this DVD is popped into the machine but that couldnt be further from the truth. A few of the girls are fairly attractive but no real beauties in the bunch and most of the sex is icier than Antarctica. Princessa is a skinny little number that mightve resulted in a nice scene if she had as much energy for sex as she did for acting. She speaks in Spanish in the intro which made me a little optimistic. Unfortunately, as soon as the actor is inside her she is a heartbeat away from taking a siesta. There was an outdoor MMF scene with an average looking girl that was mediocre at best. Ramona was maybe the prettiest overall package (if you like thin girls) but the actor she performed with didnt get much out of her. She faked some noise during the action but I think she wouldve rather been bent over and reading a Cosmo than having to feign interest in the guy banging her. Cinematography = B-. Sex = C-. Scene Set-up = C. I would keep on looking unless any Latine will do. Hot Latin Pussy Adventures #4 is the only one Ive enjoyed in this series. In this film the camera angles were way better, the girls were prettier and they were at least affected by the sex.
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|  | Asian Fever #9 Studio: Hustler
“Way Too Much Impulsive Lane Changing”…
“Roadside Assistance” featured a fairly attractive fair-skinned girl with a thin body. Unfortunately, sexual positions in this film transition way too quickly (some barely a minute). The MMF scene is the highlight of the movie but a hot doggie/oral sequence barely clocks in at one minute which was borderline criminal. And yes, this was the most fiery part of the scene. A MF scene on the beach has a hot visual with a petite girl blowing a well-endowed actor with a fat mushroom head. The beach was more stunning than the girl but her performance makes this scene worthwhile. She is a real trooper when Mr. Wide-load “corns” her over a log on the beach. The facial blast is a hot close to a pretty good scene. “Lost in Bangkok” has a girl giving lousy head to a “lost” foreigner in an ugly motel room. Most other movies in this series do have nice settings. Her “butt complexion” isn’t good so the medium shots work better than the close-ups. She dodges a major facial blast which also sabotages the scene a bit. Seriously, if I want to see a “head jerk” I can see it at home with my wife. Another forgettable scene has a dark-skinned girl in a MF scene. The girl isn’t very cute and her skin looks about four different shades (i.e. too much sun or skin condition). The camera angles are mediocre and the saggy boobs make me turn this scene off.
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|  | Up Your Ass #20 Studio: Anabolic
“Too Much Ink on that Stink”…
If you like tats, meaty bodies and the “White T” look you might be a fan. Otherwise, wipe tail on this vid. I rented it solely for Aleksandra (a.k.a. Alexa May). ALEXA MAY – She’s looked better than this with her ass now having a little extra feta cheese on it. Regardless, once bent over it still looks good. The sex is okay but nothing special. The corning was decent but with little movement by the camera during sexual positions it was a bit of a yawn fest. Her foxhole looks a little worn out and less appealing than its looked in other films. Once again underneath and low-angle camera angles reign supreme. This film needed more medium shots, high-angle, and panning shots to try and make it more interesting. Given the lack of hot talent this would have at least helped to keep my interest for a minute. Next!
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|  | 7 The Hardway #1 Studio: Vince Vouyer Unleashed
“Half-Hearted Nasty Girls”…
Vanessa is half invested at best, Lucie is three quarters invested and Ashley is almost fully invested. LUCIE – decent face; her tits look great when she’s on her back; her thin body looks good in the missionary position; her foxhole looks snug as a bug in a rug; lots of big tools take her on; her ass isn’t good and has ugly dimples; face pimples; major “cake decorating” facial finish. VANESSA VIRGIN – hideous amounts of red ass pimples (shooting should’ve been postponed); the outdoor horn-jobbing scene in the shade was well shot with strong lighting for outdoors; Vanessa is overwhelmed smoking huge poles while likely kneeling on rough cobblestone; her puss and corn get pulverized; she was not too thrilled when they tried to get her to swallow 7 large loads. ASHLEY BLUE – this was a full-force, ruthlessly aggressive gangbang scene; it gets gross and messy if you like that kind of thing; the sex is more enthusiastic here and this girl is filthy dirty with sex; she holds 7 loads in her mouth, gargles and then swallows which was pretty nasty. Vanessa has looked nicer and the ass acne killed this scene and this movie for me.
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|  | Beautiful Girls #9 Studio: Evil Angel
“A Mixed T-Sac of Tricks”…
This is a mixed bag for sure and likely a 2.5 star affair. There are two reverse gangbang scenes surrounding a pretty hot VANESSA VIRGIN gangbang scene. Most of the girls in the reverse gangbangs possessed one-dimensional ASSets. They either had a nice face or a nice body but surely not both. The Vanessa scene consisted of a MMMMF turning her into a full-on three-input girl. The scene was nice and long and sexual positions were utilized multiple times. Her body is a tad thick but the poles were above average or big and did some nice work on her slightly meaty frame. This movie is chock full of anal action and hung dudes hammering away on girls. Given that it isn’t too bad.
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