All Reviews by Coolbreeze
|Star Of The Orient|
“The Box Covers and Screen Shots Don’t Match Up”…
If you like what you see on the screen shots at the Sugar site go ahead and rent this. However, if you are “fired up” by the box cover, wipe tail on this wet turd. I never saw any of the Asian talent shown on the box covers. It “appears” that there “may” be up to three Asian actresses. In reality, there is one mediocre one who isn’t shown on the box cover but is shown on the screen shots. KYOTO GEE looks hot on the front box cover but I never saw her on film. The only pluses were that there was a lot of sex, submissive face pole jabbing with mouth cum shots and group sex was present. Various pole sizes, body types, hair colors add diversity to the picture but overall it wasn’t worthy of “peeling the onion”. There is too much cutting between scenes or leaving scenes incomplete. The lighting is mostly good for an older movie. In essence, I am very disappointed that I bought into the bullshard marketing via the box cover and ignored those truthful screen shots. “My bad”…I sharded it”.
|Hot Child In The City|
“Hot…I Say Not”…
“East Coast Guy” was dead-on balls accurate in his observation that the two starlets are clearly NOT hot. For the 70s’ they “may” be average looking. For 2013, they are borderline trolls with okay (at best) natural figures. One of the girls shags her well hung boyfriend as the movie opens in the burbs. Afterwards her friend drops by and the girls catch a bus into the city (NYC). There an ugly old pimp recruits them to give him some “horn” and then work his big city bordello. There is a MFFF scene with John Holmes and a seriously hot light haired thin brunette. Amazingly she is the focus of his donkey dong. He gets great horn from her, missionary and doggie-style (if only he kept his damn arm out of the way…I do really mean his “arm”). Scenes like this are “peek-a-boos” with the two trolls and the pimp peaking into various rooms. The footage looks unnatural and appears to have been pilfered from other movies and spliced into this movie. There is other decent talent on display but the trolls are the primaries here. The storyline is weak for 70s’ fare but passable. Had the trolls not been the focus this could’ve been a much better picture.
|Girls On Fire|
"Angelic Beauty not Fully Utilized"...
Another reviewer says that Angel was the "prettiest girl in porn history"...and I wouldn't dare dispute that statement. The girl was a Penthouse Pet of the Month (as I previously read) and it would've been a pure gift even if she had only made one adult film in her career. As luck has it, she made many. Unfortunately, many of them are hard to find or unavailable. Anyway, back to the film. The storyline is pretty decent. The highlights were when Ginger Lynn took it deep in a variety of positions from John Holmes. Seeing that small ass getting done doggie by a donkey tool made was very hot visually. The oral by her is good as well. Angel is wasted in this film. The guy does her missionary which is a tremendous waste when the girl has a four-star ass. At least she looks good "blowing horn". The best sexual heat came from Kimberly Carson in a MMF scene. An additional complaint was that the contrast was off. Maybe I could've resolved it by adjusting the contrast on my TV but I was simply too lazy after a long day's work. Everyone's skin looked like they used those orange tanning bronzers from the 80s'.
|Best Of Gail Palmer, The|
“Talk About Burying the Python”…
In one scene this essentially occurs (literally and figuratively) as an actress caresses and buffs a python’s head near her “foxhole”. Unfortunately, this is one of the only real highlights of the movie. This might serve as a good historical reference but you won’t have an easy time “peeling the onion”. The visual quality is okay given the age of the footage but nothing was very noteworthy. John Holmes is in many of the scenes but they weren’t his best. At the end of the day, “my thumb was numb”…due to excessive fast-forwarding. Next!
|Golden Age Of Porn, The: John Holmes|
“The Donkey has Left the Building”…
I’m still trying to figure out how much they paid the girls who were willing to let John Holmes take them the corn-route? And yes, one girl does so in this compilation. There is a pretty hot scene featuring Seka, J. Holmes and Jamie Gillis. Throughout the movie there are nice extreme close-ups of girls blowing John’s monster dong. Only one scene was very poor visually (washed out), an outdoor scene in the back of a pick-up truck. The rest of the movie’s visual quality is good…especially given the age of the scenes. Some scenes have a younger J. Holmes and some feature the more seasoned man. I would agree that the movie could have been longer (60 minutes is short for any decade of porn) given the archive to choose from. All in all, this is a pretty good representation of the Swordsman in action.
|Black InvAsian #2|
Studio: Vengeance XXX
“If this were the Olympics it would Barely Take the Bronze”…
NYOMI MARCELA – her ass is a tad flat but beyond that the girl is really good looking; amazing pole smoking lips, thin legs, beautiful small real breasts. Her only real shortcoming in the past has been her lack of energy and enthusiasm in many of her movies. Surprisingly she was quite active here. There are nice visuals of her riding pole and “dragon position” on the edge of the bed. She engages in too much spitting on cock. Girls have done this nasty action on me and I find it overrated. All the liquid creates a “slippery slope” and you end up losing sensation. JAZMINE LEIH – thick but once bent over her ass looks nice and not fat; face not pretty so I shined it. ARCADIA and ENVY MI – this MFF scene blows because Envy Mi never takes the pipe. Her face is really cute so I’ll need to find out if she does lezbo only and get better looks at her body. KEA KULANI – ok looking but tad thick; big gross fake tits…”I’m Audi 5000 G”… YURI – she takes on a missile dick; some nice missionary with legs up on shoulders; no doggie-style on that sweet ass; twenty seconds of cowgirl; this scene blows ass due to poorly chosen positions. Next!
|Young Asian Cookies Dripping Cum #8|
Studio: T.T.B. Productions
“Not my Cup of Tea”…
This may be an enjoyable picture for you if you like thick Asians taking on above average or huge poles. Bear in mind the girls will barely or never be “affected” by the large pole they are receiving. For my money this equals one serious “snore fest”. KYANNA LEE – face is kind of sort of appealing; too much eye make-up; medium build; weak fake dirty talk; nice medium shots of doggie-style; too many low-angle or extreme close-ups which made me dizzy; nasty upper back tat. MIA LELANI – thick body; not appealing. KEA KULANI – thick; saggy tits; gross tramp stamp; not appealing. SANAE MOON – looks Blasian genetically; too much fishnet; face is pretty cute with braces; decent horn-blow; ink on stink (common in this movie). YURI – creamy white skin; looks Korean; medium frame towards smaller; face complexion poor; horn-blow on all fours is nice; medium shot doggie-style is hot on that nice ass; cowgirl nice. If you like the Black on Asian thing on thick girls this could work for you if you don’t mind all girls being pros. For me I wouldn’t line my cat’s litter box with it.
|Good Things Cum In 3's|
“Best Days are Behind them”…
LUCY LEE – This girl is really good looking but the theme of this scene didn’t work for me. It had a “workout” theme and as a result Lucy performs the FMM horn-blowing like a road whore on coke (i.e. very rapidly) to the point it made me dizzy trying to focus on her going from pole to pole. Also, this girl has a beautiful ass which we never see, not in cowgirl style and not in doggie-style. Instead the underneath angle is overused or long-shots are used with actor’s legs obstructing our view of this girl’s gorgeous body. BOUTIQUE SCENE – This girl’s face is subpar, her hooter is job is $5.00 or less and her age is late 30’s or beyond. That being said, her body looked pretty nice in the MMF doggie-style horn-blow position. And I especially liked the close-ups from behind and high-angle shots of her getting corned. SANDY RIO – This Brazilian has a pretty face and nice blue eyes (blue contacts?). Unfortunately, her skin quality was subpar and her body too thick for my tastes.
|Craving Big Cocks #11|
Studio: New Sensations
“Evelyn is a piece of Heaven”…
If it weren’t for EVELYN LIN this movie wouldn’t have been worthy of lining a cat’s litter box. Evelyn is likely the prettiest Chinese girl in porn (produced in the USA). She looks good in this movie and gets royally pounded by a big tool. I love watching her reach down to try and limit Long Dong Silver (not to be confused with the actual porn actor bearing this name) from “going deep”. The camera angles are nice in this scene. RILEY – Unfortunately, she looks cuter on the box than she does in her scene. She does a MMF scene with pretty decent sex and mediocre camera angles. Also, her fair skin gets washed out by poor lighting choices. The other girls vary from gross to mediocre looking. There are some disgusting large tats on the ladies which further limits this production. All in all, this movie is -- “no bueno”.
|Young Tight Latinas #10|
Studio: Red Light District
“It’s Worth One and a Half Squirts”…
I give about a half squirt for Melissa Martinez’s scene and a full squirt for Vanessa Figueroa’s scene. MELISSA MARTINEZ – The camera angles on the blow job “blow doors” as her pretty face is neglected. The timber on the actor is too small for this girl. I loved watching her take Diesel and she should stay on that side of the “timber scale”. Then she doesn’t have to fake her enthusiasm or state of being overwhelmed. There are some nice medium shots of the doggie-style action and there is plenty of it. She talks Spanish at times which gives it a touch more heat. The actor does his best with his not-so-mighty sword to give her a good pounding. She needs to arch her back more in the cowgirl position as her posterior is a touch on the flat side. Katalina and Estella are too chunky for my tastes. SAMANTHA SOUTH – This girl could be pretty hot but she opted to add lame tattoos of her name across her entire low back and beyond. Maybe it’s there in case she ever forgets her stage name? I love her fair skin and thin body in this MMF scene. Her ass has a pretty decent shape but the gross ass tat did me in. VANESSA FIGUEROA – She says she’s Salvadorian and has fair skin, long dark hair and a thin body until you get to a nice round Latine ass. She takes on some pretty serious timber in her MMF scene. Watching her “horn job” Chris Charming was “hotter than a piss sandwich”. The other actor tends to ruin scenes via his mouth. I saw him do something similar in a MMF scene with Evelyn Lin. He needs to leave the directing to the director. Vanessa’s noise seems pretty authentic and its fairly clear Charming’s mule dick overwhelms her at times. She has those nice pliable butt cheeks I love. Forget about the buns of steel of the 90s’ porn. The doggie-style pounding by Charming while she smoked the other actor was pretty hot. This is worth a “sniff”.
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