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New Barbarians, The
VCA / 2005
New Barbarians, The from VCA
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Avg Rating: 2.3 stars (from 21 customers)
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Classic Porn
by Fred Lake
this is an old classic movie (from about 1985) which has peter north and a whole bunch of actors (most of whom don't actually get naked or have sex). it's a movie, not just straight porn, so there is a plot. a bunch of barbarian tribes live in a valley. some are nice, some aren't. one of the nice tribes is led by the crazy old witch doctor zarkon, who has the crystal which will take people to other dimensions but has forgotten how to use it. sometimes people dumb luck into getting it to work and end up in 1985 los angeles. the bad guys steal the crystal and the warrior princess sets off on a hunt to recover it. the plot (badly acted and hard to follow) is punctuated by people having sex of the typical old school porn type: sucking, fucking, facial. seems that whenever you try to get the crystal to work everybody within 50 feet gets horny. then there are the "drainer bitches", wild demon women who want to "suck you dry". the movie was supposed to capitalize on the success of barbarian queen (by a different company). bq was a tremendous success because it was more erotic and less overt, had a good plot that made sense, and nice married ladies would watch it with their husbands and turn into wild horny women. the new barbarians lacks the eroticism and hold little interest for couples, although the horribly bad acting could be a hoot. even worse, the movie stops halfway through and you have to go find the sequel to get the rest of the story.
by Exciter
This was terrible. The sex was tired and totally weak. The plot....who cares anyway. Skip this one. Total waste of film. It had good stars from the time period but wasted their talent.

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