All Reviews by Not in Cleveland |  | Bobby Sox Studio: Vivid
Watchable Porn
This was a very watchable porno for couples. The plot had good guys, bad guys, fair actors, and some good sex.
The biggest drawback was the poor audio quality. Some actors were so quiet you had to crank up the volume, then another actor in the same scene would be shouting!
I'd actually watch this one again.
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|  | Regarding Hiney Studio: Coast to Coast
Not Even Close
Wow. The plot line of this movie isn't even close to what is described. A dildo accident? That never happened. The guy that writes the synopsis should at least watch the movies before he writes about them. This is basically a re-released movie from the 80's about a guy that wants anal, but his wife doesn't. The two anal scenes are from an adult movie the husband is watching. The 3 stars are for the passable sex scenes.
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|  | Love Slaves Studio: LBO
Ah, The Good Old Days
Watching an old '80s porn like this reminds me of just how poorly made the current generation of porn movies are.
In classic porn like Love Slaves, guys actually pay attention to their female partners so women have orgasms too. The men lasted as long as normal, human males last, and there was no choking, slapping, or spitting.
The plot in Love Slaves is engaging enough to keep your attention between the sex scenes. I actually wanted to find out if John's 'sister' was going to be OK.
If you are a 20 or even 30-something, you owe it to yourself and your s.o. to rent this movie so you can experience the golden age of adult movie making.
There is ONE concession I will give to newer porn flicks. After getting used to their beautifully shaved or trimmed vaginas, looking at the old shag carpets in this movie was a bit hard to take.
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|  | John Leslie 4 On 1 Studio: VCA
Great Couples Movie(s)
This is a collection of four full length movies directed by John Leslie. All four feature an honest to goodness plot, and the sex scenes show women getting off, not just the men. Although the actors try hard (no pun intended), the acting is the weakest link. But the sex is hot and bonus: no tats or spitting!
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|  | Big Lebowski, The: A XXX Parody (Disc 1) Studio: New Sensations
A Must See for Parody Lovers
This was as much fun to watch as movie entertainment as it was as an erotic film. Congrats to the production company for bringing together talented writing, directing and (dare I say it?) acting for this film. The sex is hot, and the plot is fun. Although I will admit there are a lot of quotes and references from the original film, so it would help if you are a fan of the original.
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|  | Batman XXX: A Porn Parody Studio: Vivid-Axel Braun
Lots of fun
A very good parody. The sets, costumes and actors are spot on. I loved the rope-climb-up-the-side-of-a-building scene. The actors pulled this off with cheesy perfection. Lots of fun and a good couples movie.
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|  | Hamlet Studio: Heatwave
Parli italiano?
This is an Italian movie with the actors (of course) speaking Italian. The problem is the DVD offers no option to choose another language, or even for English sub-titles.
My GF and I decided to sit through it just for the novelty of watching foreign porn. Unfortunately the sex is not very erotic. The old joke Q. "What is Italian foreplay?" A. "Brace yourself, Bridgette!" appears to be true. The men don't seem remotely interested in foreplay and just hammer away.
Anal sex seems to be the preference for the men so if you're into it there's that I guess.
The one good thing about the movie is the sex scenes are short, so there is plenty of different sex scenes, just not a lot of variety. Hammer away with no foreplay, go for the back door. Definitely not a couples movie.
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|  | Alice (Disc 1) Studio: Cal Vista
Another Wasted Concept
The idea of a porn version of Alice in Wonderland is great. Unfortunately the ideas must have ended at the conceptual stage. The modern take on Alice and the great looking actors are the only reason I give this two stars. The actual sex scenes are boring with a capital "B". I actually almost fell asleep watching this movie. When sex scenes drag on for 25 minutes, you aren't going to get much variety in the already limited vanilla type sex offered here.
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|  | Scooby-Doo: A XXX Parody (Disc 1) Studio: New Sensations
Best Parody Film I've Seen
I was very surprised at the level of professionalism throughout this movie. Everything from set and costume design to scriptwriting to sound and lighting were on par with some Hollywood movies. Even the acting was above porn movie standards! The sex was hot and non-repetitive with one of the best girl-on-girl scenes I've ever watched. The only reason I didn't give this 5 stars was the movie had to throw in a couple of spit scenes. I mean really? Spitting on someone is supposed to be erotic?
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|  | Not Bionic Woman & The Six Million Dollar Man XXX Studio: X-Play
Why Bother
These are the kind of porn movies that make no sense to me. It's the same exact 30 minute sex scene over and over and just substitute the actors.
This is pure whack-off fodder. I don't understand why they even bothered to slip in the 15-20 minutes of the so called plot.
I believe this is the first porn movie I got so bored with I shut if off about half way through it.
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